You Are Beautiful

My first grassroots revolt of April was making out these post-it notes.

My plan is to stick them on advertisements or products in local retailers. So if there is anything in Target or Wal-Mart that catches my eye, be it an advert for Ava Longoria selling mascara or a tub of skin lightener in the ethnic beauty aisle, it will get my post-it note.

I want women to feel beautiful and comfortable in their own skin and it's hard to feel that way, in America, when you're being bombarded with consumerism. In my case, I don't start to feel less than until I flip through a copy of Glamour and see all the clothes and beauty products I could buy. All of a sudden, I start to feel as though these "things" can make me a better woman.

That can't be right. I also get that "less than" feeling when I walk through a shopping mall. I'm surrounded with slim petite mannequins that can wear the latest fashions that I either can't fit in or afford. That can't be right either.

When I wake up in the morning, I am satisfied with myself. I like my body, I like my clothes, I feel good. But once you leave the safety of your home, things can get hairy. So from now on, I'm going to take my post-its with me. I want to remind myself and others that my worth and self-esteem can't be bought.

Present Day Slavery

I watched Whistleblower, starring Rachel Weisz, and was disturbed by what I saw. Women and girls of economically depressed countries are still being sold into sex slavery and from what I saw in this film, there seems to be very little we can do about it. In the movie, which takes place in the 1990's war torn Bosnia, UN peacekeepers were helping keep this industry afloat.

Men who were sent to keep people safe were working hand in hand with local traffickers. They profited in the selling of women and there was nothing the UN could do to stop them. Since peacekeepers have diplomatic immunity, there was no way to arrest or reprimand those in the wrong. Rachel Weisz's character was a cop from Nebraska who came to Bosnia to become a peacekeeper and blew the lid off of the huge sex scandal and risking her life to do so.

It's based on a true story and this sort of things goes on all over the world today. Young women are lured into the business or sold by family members. They are shipped to other countries, their passports are taken from them and they believe they must work off a debt in order to regain their freedom. No one ever works off that arbitrary debt. These women are disposable commodities, when they're used up or if they dissent, they are killed.

As I said before, it seems there is very little that anyone can do to stop such an atrocity. I really hope I'm wrong. There are thousands of organizations and activists who work hard everyday to help these women towards safety. It's a huge protected circle of disfunctional economics that keeps this going. But I suggest you see this film and check out these websites to learn about what you can do to "re-abolish" slavery:

http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/

http://www.endhumantrafficking.org/

http://www.womensfundingnetwork.org/resource/past-articles/enslaved-in-america-sex-trafficking-in-the-united-states

The "F" Word

As I work on this month and next, revolting and raising hell, I'm getting nervous about how I will lead an effective hell raising. I'll tell you why I'm nervous. This month, I'm devoted to researching Women's Rights and next month, I'll be revolting in the name of said rights. Obviously, Women's Right are closely tied in with a nasty F-word that no women wishes to utter:

FEMINISM

Whew! That wasn't too hard was it? For some of us women (and men, I suppose) to be identified as a feminist is too much. Like communism, feminism seems to have gasped it's last dying breath. But has it? I once asked my little sister who was 17 at the time but very mature for her age, if she was a feminist.

She said that she was not. Part of me wasn't surprised, while the other part of me was hugely disappointed. I realize she has her own mind, but I thought a lot of my tastes and politics were rubbing off on her. Surely, just by default she would have the same outrage as I. I neglected to consider the other variables that caused her to be otherwise indifferent.

• Age. There is a 7 year difference between the two of us. Nearly a generation, if you think about it. With her being younger, she wasn't faced with the same gender related struggles I was faced with.
• High School. She was in high school which hosts a whole other set of problems. On her plate, she dealt with finding her place as an adolescent amongst knuckleheads, nerds, and popular kids. The world's injustices were not in the forefront of her mind.

And there could be other, less obvious reasons that mold a 17 year-old girl's psyche. But I wanted to press the issue further. "Do you think women should get paid the same wage/salary as man?" I asked her.
"Of course."
"Well you know that we don't, right? You know that a woman will earn two thirds of what a man earns while being in the same occupation."
She frowned. "I guess I knew that." She shrugged and refused to explain the logic behind this.

She is not very different from women around the world who don't feel like being a feminist. 

My challenge to you: If you believe in the following points. . . 

• A woman should have authority over her own body when it comes to health and reproductive issues.
• A woman should be paid the same dollar amount as a man when doing the same job.
• A woman shouldn't be physically/emotionally abused in her own home (or anywhere else for that matter) at the hands of a lover/boyfriend/husband. 
• A woman should wear what she feels comfortable in without fear of being raped.
• A woman can be a lesbian without getting hassled for it.
• A woman shouldn't be sold into sex slavery.

Then I'm sorry to have to break it to you:   

YOU'RE A FEMINIST!

It's not as bad as you think it is. At least it's not an incurable disease. People like Rush Limbaugh, who routinely calls free-thinking women "FemiNazis," are what makes you afraid to come out and claim your own empowerment. Being called a "loud mouth bitch," can be scary. But you can rise above it. Just ask Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. She's been called a "loud mouth bitch" many a time, but I don't think that's stopped her from being a bad-ass politician.

Go on and try saying it: "I'm a feminist."  It's not at all painful. When we take a word and make it our own, we take back the power associated with it. One day feminist won't mean femiNazi and we'll see some real changes in the world. Until then, it will take work. It's not going to be easy wrestling that power from people like Rush Limbaugh. These are the people who stand to benefit from our indifference and fear. They are hoping that you continue believing the status-quo and the ideology that stands behind it. 

When we question with force, "Why are things this way?" and don't accept the bogus answer of: "It's just the way it's always been," we're ready for change.

Remember, not too long ago, blacks asked: "Why am I getting attacked by police dogs and getting hosed in the street?"

The answer was the same: "It's just the way it's always been."

It's Getting Hard

The first two months of my revolt were successful. I researched a topic that I knew a little about and came up with a game plan for the following month. It went well.

This month is another story. So satisfied with the last couple of months, I've rested on my laurels. I've all but slept on them. There are many reasons why I've been lax in my reporting to you.

• I'm frustrated by the lack of apathy in my peers. I was annoyed that not a lot of my friends or family were jumping on the bandwagon with me. I thought I was a potential Moses, here to lead people to revolutionary living. But I had to realize that people around me will eventually lose their "outrage" energy and go on to other things. Besides, I have to reconsider why I need others to "follow" me. Is it the external validation I need to keep going? If so, I need to remember what the real purpose of this year. My friend reminded me that historically, visionaries are by themselves most of the time. It takes a long time for others to catch on.
• Perhaps I suffer from "outrage-fatigue" myself. I too, can run out of steam. I often start projects really gung-ho and then after awhile. . . I search for something else to do. A year long experiment? Why am I doing it if I have such a short attention-span? I actually don't know. But it helps to have a different issue to deal with every two months. Looking forward to something new within the year long experiment gives me a refreshed feeling.
• I feel like I already know women. Yeah, that's really arrogant. I feel like I know more about women (being one and all that) than I do about animals. So there, what research do I possibly need to do? Of course, that's gotten me into trouble. Without doing the research that I needed to do, I now lack focus for April's revolt. Now I have a week to get my shit together. Wish me luck.

So that's how the sausage is made. Or not made. I'm hoping to get it together and continue. Again, wish me luck.

Animals and Women

It's no accident that I have made the transition from dealing with Animal Rights to Women Rights. I did it intentionally because I believe there is an interesting link of oppression between the two. In my undergrad, I read I book by Gerda Lerner called The Creation of Patriarchy. In it, she talks about the origins of female oppression in developing civilizations of the past, mainly focusing in the Middle East.

She writes about the link between the domestication and husbandry of animals to the violence and domination of women.

"Thus, Susan Brownmiller sees man's ability to rape women leading to their propensity to rape women and shows how this has led to male dominance over women. Elizabeth Fisher ingeniously argues that the domestication in animals taught men their role in procreation and that the practice of forced mating of animals led men to the idea of raping women (45 Lerner)."

While Lerner believes while these are interesting explanations, they are pretty simple explanations and cannot alone be the reason for the domination of women. I agree with her, I believe the rise of the agricultural society could be an answer in women's oppression. The domesticating animals, shift in the division of labor and the "death" of the goddess are all powerful contenders in this argument.

If we fast forward to today and deal with Peta, one of the world's largest animal rights organizations, we'll see that the link between animals and women is slightly warped. I believe Peta is oppressing the image and the sexuality of women for shock value in a half-assed attempt to save animals. Bold claim, I know, but all you have to do is Google Image "Peta" and you'll find this:

Sex sells, right? These images shock us into thinking: "Maybe meat/fur isn't for me!" This, I doubt. I can't help but think that women aren't impressed by these images and men are really impressed! So impressed, that these images are a new source of pornography. Pleasuring one part of the man's brain won't necessarily shut down his desire for meat.

Oh wait, but what about this one. . .

Can't even enjoy these ads because you're impotent? Stop eating meat!

And then the ads take a strange violent turn.

These images harken back to 70's sexploitation films like "Women in Cages." I understand that there are animals being beaten, chained and caged. I don't like that at all! Do you know what I think might be more effective? Seeing the evidence of those animals in captivity. I believe that you can get those photos and expose the atrocities to the world. People will be moved by those images. These images. . . leave me feeling confused. Am I supposed to be turned on by this?

But you might be wondering: What about the men?

They're around, but you might notice something about their images: They're at least wearing pants

Now look at another famous tattoo artist, Kat Von D.

Why does she have to completely naked?
Why does Peta have to save women at the cost of women? What's the point of this ad campaign? Men are allowed to look at these images and there's no real evidence that they will stop eating meat or wearing fur. So they are, in fact, having their flesh and eating it too. Does this ad campaign change women's minds about wearing fur and eating meat? I can't see how they would. Bombarding us with sex doesn't really raise the problem of animal abuse.

After scrolling for so many pages on Google Images, I got bored with the semi-nude photos and eventually had to type in: "Peta+animals" just to find this:

Now isn't this what we're fighting for? Don't get distracted from the real face of animal cruelty.

Why Can't Black Women Get Married?

 (Previously published under "Why Don't YOU Think Like a Woman and Act Like a Gentleman?" at le salon des naturelles.)

I was embarrassed when friends and I left the theater after just seeing Beauty and The Beast 3D. Not because I just saw Beauty and The Beast 3D, I love the movie! But because of all my friends I was the black one who had to hear: "Is that another Tyler Perry movie?" We were all faced with this movie poster display:

Don't all the women in this poster look crazy? Don't all the men look scared and confused?

I cringed inwardly because I was the only informed one to know it was a Steve Harvey joint, directed towards black women to become better partners. This could be another blog post in itself, the fact that blacks on a movie poster must be advertising a Tyler Perry movie. But that will be for another time.

I was weirded out by this movie when I heard of its production. Based on his self-help book, Steve Harvey is going to give me advise on how to be a better black woman? This coming from the man who cheated on his wife? It wasn't until I read Ms Magazine last night at Barnes & Noble, that I understood what was really going on here. The article called "Singled Out," by Tamara Winfrey Harris, illustrates the new problem in America: Why can't the black woman get married?

Movies like this one, plus books like "The Denzel Principal" show that black women are too picky and don't see the good black man right in her face because she's hung up on a Denzel Washington or Barack Obama. There are a lot of men who have an opinion on this, including R&B singer Robin Thicke:

"Maybe the women have to take better care of their men. Maybe you’re being too stubborn. Maybe you’re not saying you’re sorry. You have to take good care of him, too. You have to give love to get love." 

According to Harvey's sage advise: 

• Men don't like smokers. 
• Neediness is a turn-off.
• You must take care of your home, (I assume that means keeping it tidy)
• Grooming is very important. Harvey specifies hands, feet and unwanted hair.
• Don't try to fix things around the house
• Don't be afraid to make a meal or two
• Don't wear a T-shirt to bed every night

There are a lot of factors that go into Black women not getting married to Black men. And besides who said every woman wants to get married? What journalists like Tamara Winfrey Harris and myself are frustrated by, is why keeping the black family unit together is my responsibility? Has it gotten to the point that black women have to shoulder this burden as well.

The things Steve Harvey is asking from Black women are all superficial and harken back to a time before women were allowed to vote. My fixing things around the house isn't going to turn a man off. When I first Noah, I fixed the handles of his skillets because I thought it was going to kill himself the next time he made an omelet. He didn't take it as an attack on his manhood, he was just thankful. Noah cooks most of the meals for us. Not because he's a sissy boy and not because I'm a bleeding heart liberal femi-nazi. He does it because he thoroughly enjoys cooking!

And hell! I'm wearing that T-shirt to bed, dammit! Wearing a T-shirt to bed doesn't make me frumpy. Just ask Noah, I can wear the hell out of a T-shirt.

Point is, women having standards aren't a bad thing. Settling down doesn't mean having to settle. Women aren't dumb in thinking there's another Barack Obama out there waiting for us. We've worked too hard to take a back seat to old patriarchal life lessons given from a hypocrite.

Is Your Work Worth 77 cents?

I'm reading The Cost of Being Female by Sue Headlee and Margery Elfin

It seems that everyone knows that women get paid less than men while doing the same jobs, yet the powers that be don't seem very alarmed by it. Or at least they're not in a hurry to do anything about it. Headlee and Elfin show that being female can make you lose out on a lot. Being a female can cause you to NOT get hired, it can get you fired (should you get pregnant or sexually harassed), it can make you lose out on a promotion. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Remember the Betty Dukes vs. Wal-mart class action suit? Dukes worked for Wal-mart for six years before it became apparent that she wouldn't be considered for promotions like her male co-workers. So she sued. That was in 2000. A million women joined Dukes in her class action suit, citing that they too had been held back and discriminated against because of their gender. The case went to the Supreme court and was held up for 11 years because of Wal-mart's stall tactics. In the end the women lost.Why? According to The New Yorker article I read last year the plaintiffs' evidence was " “worlds away from ‘significant proof’ that Wal-Mart ‘operated under a general policy of discrimination.’ ”

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2011/06/betty-dukes-v-walmart.html#ixzz1oIPdl8UW

Where does the attitude that a woman's work cannot be as valuable as a man's? Headlee and Elfin say that the idea is a very old one. "In Leviticus [27:1-4], the Bible says that women should be paid two-third of what men are paid. (xxii Headlee and Elfin). I don't want to get to deep in the patriarchy that is organized religion, but that's a really archaic idea to cling to. According to the Gender Wage Gap's finding in 2009, women were paid 77cents on the dollar. 

Do you know what a woman can do with extra 23 cents? She could take care of basics like feeding and clothing her family. In a world where two paychecks have to keep a household afloat, women and men should demand the rest of their dollar. 

 

If you were male lawyer in a firm with female lawyers, who received a similar education, worked on the same cases, and worked towards the same promotions, you'd think something were up if you never got opportunities to advance, right? You would feel worst if you found out you weren't even getting paid the same as those lady lawyers. Your school loans, your bills, your children's well being are all being put on the back burner because you have a penis. Sounds shitty, doesn't it?